We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
