32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
