So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
