i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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