So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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