Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
