that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
