what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
