i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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