i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My balls are so social today.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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