Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
