If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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