I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
