it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
