Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
