my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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