Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
