i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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