if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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