Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it glows. i had to have it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
