Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
