theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
