oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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