Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
