you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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