I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
