what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
