its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
this boner is exhausting
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
