You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
