I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
