First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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