What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
