i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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