I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
