Someone shit on the floor
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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