ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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