just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
