Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
