You're so nebulous sometimes
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
