Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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