look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
