super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
3pm strippers are depressing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
