I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
