I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
