Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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