At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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