I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
