Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
