I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
