Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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