whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
